Previously, on Nip/Tuck...
You're one of the most
respected psychologists in the country.
It's just a good thing
I didn't sacrifice my career
so my daughter could have one.
It's Kimber.
I'm in love with her.
What?
You seen Kimber?
It's cute, huh?
I got shot.
You got shot? How?
I was desperate. I started robbing convenience stores.
I'm taking the kids to a hotel.
You can't just take them away from me.
One day, you'll see that this is for the best.
Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Erica, don't psychoanalyze
Me. Just get me out of here.
I'm required to submit
an evaluation. There must be
an awful lot you don't like
about yourself for you to attempt suicide.
I wasn't attempting suicide.
I just... I swam out too far.
Naked.
In the middle of the night,
1 1/2 miles from the shore,
clinging to a buoy. That's
a hell of a miscalculation.
I went for a night swim.
It was cold, beautiful.
Just me and the water.
Felt like I was one with
the ocean, like I was
inside it and it was inside me.
If my son were in jail
and my ex-wife were a lesbian,
my daughter dined on hair
and my newly married,
just murdered wife turned out
to be Lucretia Portia,
I'd take the plunge myself.
I'd be crazy not to.
Sean, don't bullshit a bullshitter.
I can't get you out of the psych
ward if you don't level with me.
The idea that someone like
Teddy could be in love with me
was so overwhelming, I... I was
blind to who she really was,
and I, uh, I wound up
putting my kids at risk.
It's hard to forgive yourself for something like that.
Go on.
I was gonna swim until my arms fell off.
And then, about a mile out,
I, uh, had a change of heart.
Something inside of me opened up
and I... thought about how much
I love my family.
So, I fought.
I fought to stay alive.
Thank you, Sean.
So, did you drive?
Yes.
Oh, good.
So, you can give me a ride back to Malibu.
Oh, no, Sean, I can't.
The policy is very clear.
You attempted to commit suicide
within the last 48 hours.
I can't authorize your release.
It would be professionally irresponsible.
Take care.
Sync by honeybunny - corrected by chamallow35 www.Addic7ed.Com
Hey, Bud.
You got a sec?
I wanna get your opinion on something.
Hey, uh, I'm really sorry to hear about Sean.
God, you think you know someone, and then...
What do you want, Mike?
What do you think, huh?
Is it big enough?
5 carats.
Cost a quarter of a mill.
Yeah, she's gonna go crazy for it.
Don't you think it's a little soon to be
asking Kimber to marry you? Hmm?
You've been dating for what?
3 months?
Well, when you know, you know. Kimber and I are soul mates.
You think this is some kind of competition.
Not really.
She's mine.
Why don't you get the hell
out of here, drop your key off
at reception. I'm popping your
surgery pod like a whitehead.
No problem.
You know what, Christian?
You're an asshole.
But I really do hope Sean gets better soon.
I'll tell you what's crazy.
Julia calling her mother
and thinking that bitch would
ever lift a finger to help me.
Now, just relax, all right?
It's over. You're out.
What'd you tell them, anyway?
That I tried to discourage
you from training at night
without a certified escort boat,
but nothing could stop you from
pursuing your dream of, one day,
swimming the English channel.
They believed I was a competitive swimmer?
And they thought you were
delusional, but they can't keep
you for longer than 24 hours.
Why are we stopping here?
While you were in the can
with all the other nut cases,
Mike proposed to Kimber.
So, I have a hankering for a cold scotch and a hot sandwich.
She say "yes?"
Who gives a shit?
Just have a drink with me.
You just got out of the snake
pit yourself. Don't tell me
you don't need one.
You know what? Some other
time. I have a few things I need
to talk over with Julia.
Just how far were you planning on swimming?
Changed my mind.
That's all that matters now.
I suddenly thought,
what if there are other possibilities?
We consult each other on everything.
Right?
What you did was stupid
and selfish. If you ever
do it again, I'll kill you.
I'll see you tomorrow.
All right.
Ahem.
Can I get another drink, please?
Sure.
I just need your cell phone and car keys.
I'm an expert at reading people,
and you're about 5 minutes
from calling her or just driving over,
and either way, someone's gonna get hurt.
You know, if you're trying
to make me feel better,
it's, uh, it's not working.
I thought that was the vodka's job, not mine.
So, you're a real bitch, huh?
Yep.
And you strike me as
the kind of guy who attracts
that sort of thing.
What's your name, handsome?
My name is Christian.
Christian.
I'm Alexis.
I tell you what.
This one's on the house
if you promise not to do
anything stupid, and,
in return, you have to give me
all the gritty details.
Or if you'd rather wallow in self-pity,
I'll put that on your tab.
Her name is Kimber.
We've known each other
for a very long time,
what seems like a lifetime.
Started off as a one night stand
and just never stopped.
The sex was that good, huh?
It was unbelievable.
And I don't even like her.
But you love her and that's what's killing you.
I'm sorry.
I know what that's like.
But as I always say, the best
way of getting over someone is
to get on top of someone else.
What the hell is wrong with you?
What'd I do?
Oh, nothing.
You taste like Honey.
And your body's like David
how could anyone let you go?
I'm a plastic surgeon.
Oh, my God.
Now you're really blowing my mind.
Ohh!
Well...
It's time to return the favor.
I've got a better idea.
I've never had someone ask
for that on a first date before.
You have to go.
Why?
Do I have to spell it out?
I want you to leave.
You had your fun.
I don't wanna spoon.
Goodbye.
This beats the hell outta
the meatloaf I had last night.
I still don't know what they put in it.
Thank you, Sean. It's good
to know that my cooking's better
than the mental institution's.
I was just trying to break the ice.
Don't.
I like the ice. I want to keep
the frozen right where it is.
Hey, beautiful.
Aww.
Hey, sweetie, um, daddy
and I have some things we want
to discuss with grandma.
Can you give us some privacy?
Thanks. Mwah.
See you.
So, Sean, how are you feeling?
Just how long would you have
kept me in that place?
Well, let's not go there.
Oh, no. I want to answer his question.
I think you should still be
under psychiatric supervision.
Make you feel powerful, Erica?
Have control over me?
Heh.
God knows, you manipulated
your daughter her whole life.
Julia, your decision
to placate this unstable man
and endanger the children is,
quite frankly, baffling.
Well, this unstable man
happens to be their father.
Father who's willing to leave
his children fatherless.
He's a father only in the biological sense.
I'm petitioning for custody of the children.
You'd really do that?
You'd take my children from me?
You vengeful bitch.
I'd like to see you try.
Now, don't pay attention to her.
She's just doing what she enjoys
most... causing you pain.
Um, you know what?
I'll, um, take the kids back
to New York if Sean can have supervised visits.
Why are you letting her
intimidate you like this?
Because she's one of the best child advocates
in the country, Sean.
If Erica noughton says a home
is unsuitable... oh, my God, how
could you have been so stupid?
Well, in all fairness,
Julia, you haven't exactly
been June cleaver.
Come on, Julia.
She's never gonna get the kids.
I mean, look at her.
Don't let appearance deceive you.
Like they say, you're as young as you feel.
And I have been feeling
remarkably youthful these days.
Whatever happens to you in this place,
you mustn't be ashamed.
It's just the way things are.
Really? So, you know
the way things are in here?
I know that you have neither
the muscle mass nor the gang
affiliations to be a predator,
and it's not your nature to be
a nilly queen, so, if you don't
want to be passed around like
a box of chocolates, you had better find a protector.
You want me to become
somebody's bitch?
Cleaning a man's cell?
Doing his laundry?
Small price to pay for your life.
You're wrong.
One is all it takes.
After you get turned out,
you lose your status as a man
and you can never get that back.
Status?
Among savages?
It's survival of the fittest.
If you don't adapt, you won't make it.
How's mom and dad?
They haven't come here to see you?
No, dad came once.
He was having a really hard time.
Then mom...
I don't want her to see me this way.
She tried to come, but I wouldn't see her.
So, once again,
it's about their feelings?
Matt, your parents are totally
self-absorbed. They should be here supporting you.
You are the one in hell.
You're not the one that let them
down. It's the other way around.
Don't you see that?
Well, yeah, I suppose
they could have been there more. Sure.
They were too busy acting out on each other
to instill a sense of self
in you. And they're doing
the same thing to Connor and Annie.
If you want to be a real man,
stand up for your brother
and sister. Protect them.
How am I supposed to do that?
You can help me get custody.
You would know better than
anyone what it will cost them
if they stay with their mother and Sean.
No offense, but aren't you
a little old to be a mom?
Well.
It wasn't part of my retirement plan.
But I can't sit out
and watch them sink deeper into dysfunction.
Will you be my witness, Matt?
Hey.
What do you think about these?
Why not have fresh flowers delivered, huh?
They brighten everything up, don't they?
Oh.
What the hell?
It's expired. What?
Right.
That's all it is.
Sour yogurt.
You want to talk about it?
Pfft.
I mean, look. If we're gonna
work together, then I think that
we should be able to talk to
each other like we used to.
Talk to me.
I'm afraid I might hurt your feelings and I don't
want to do that anymore.
You're not going to hurt my feelings.
As a matter of fact,
I think it might make us feel,
you know, like... like we're getting back to normal.
I met this woman yesterday.
Gorgeous.
I mean, hot body, hot ass.
Went back to her place
and nailed her like a... I mean,
incredible sex. I mean
raw, nasty, mean... but in
a good way... sex. You know?
Then she asked me to take her in
the back door, which was great.
Anyway, we finished and, uh, she kicked me out.
So, what's that about?
You know what?
You should have trusted your first instinct.
Next time, don't tell me.
Hey, how's everything going with Erica?
Well, I just got a letter from her lawyer.
She's started custody proceedings.
Sean, the whole thing
is ridiculous. There's no way
she's gonna get custody of those kids, all right?
Julia's gonna stay out here
so we can fight this together.
We got an attorney, but I'm
onna have to spend as much time
with my kids as I can until this
gets resolved. Can you get Mike
to cover for me?
That's gonna be a problem,
because I just fired him.
I just saw him in the exam room.
Yeah, he's cleaning his stuff out.
We're just getting back on our feet here.
Without his help, we're screwed.
You need to get him to stay, Christian.
We need as much support
as we can get if I'm gonna be able to keep my kids.
Ahem.
Just leave everything where it is.
It's my stuff.
I told you I was taking out what I brought in.
You don't have to.
Leave, that is.
I went through the contract
we signed when you first
came on board, and since there's
some surgeries on the books,
I'm holding you accountable.
So, you're trying to get me to stay now?
No, I'd rather you go, but,
you know, it's a legal issue.
So, sue me.
Look, I'm sorry.
No, you look.
I'm happy to go.
And now that I've built up
my client list, my fiancee and I are looking forward
to starting my new practice in Beverly hills.
Your fiancée?
Yeah, that's right.
Kimber accepted.
Wept tears of joy.
Happiest day of her life.
Now that it's official,
we're only gonna get better.
Alexis.
What a surprise.
What do you think
she's afraid of?
Hmm.
Well, I think we're all afraid of something.
That's what I like about it.
And if you stick around for an
hour, we can go out for a drink.
I have to be at work in an hour.
Oh.
And, truthfully, I'm here for professional reasons.
Not personal.
This about your breasts?
'Cause I... I didn't want to say
anything, but you could definitely go a cup bigger.
I want you to give me a sex change operation.
I want to be a man.
I was that bad, huh?
I'm a little, uh, confused. Um,
I... I thought we had a good time.
We did.
There's no reason why we can't again.
I'll still have the same lips, the same hot ass.
Let's get this clear.
I... I'm not into men.
I'm into women.
Beautiful women, like you.
Actually, I was born a man.
I had sexual reassignment surgery when I was 23.
As a boy, I was always so pretty.
My hand gestures were feminine
And it always seemed like I was so much more
of a girl than a guy.
In high school, I wasn't attracted to girls.
I just wanted to hang out with them.
I had crushes on all the same guys they did.
And, finally, it was clear.
I was a girl living in a male body.
So, why the change of heart?
Forget to take your hormones?
I still love men.
I still love glamour, and I'd rather hang out
with women, but I've come
to the understanding that I'm not a woman.
I... I'm a gay man.
So you, uh, you tricked me.
You've lied to me and pretended that you're a woman.
I am a woman.
I prefer to be a man.
Haven't you ever had a change of heart?
It's not the same as changing one's mind. Sometimes,
we don't have the choice about what we feel.
Oh, come on. That's
the biggest line of tranny bullshit I've ever heard.
I mean, think about what you're
saying. You're asking the guy
who, uh, a straight man who
you... who you just asked to...
To give you a sex change.
So, in your mind, if I become
Alex, you become a fag?
What if I stay Alexis?
You're just some straight guy that got duped?
No, in my mind, if you're Alex, you'd have
a bloody nose right now.
Can you please just leave my office?
I asked you to leave.
Oh, well, this is a surprise.
Can we come in?
That depends.
Are you unarmed?
This is just a rental
while I look around for something with a yard.
Please, mother.
You've made your point.
So, um, Sean and I have been
so wrapped up in our own divorce
drama that, um, we failed
to see the effect it was having on the kids.
Anyway, I have decided to move
to L.A. so that they can have
the benefit of both parents
living in the same city.
And we found a really great
therapist for Annie.
She's agreed to go twice a week.
Annie's going to therapy.
Yes.
So, you can, uh, drop all this
bullshit about custody.
Oh, but Annie's not the one
who tried to kill herself.
Annie's not the one
that wanders from one confused
relationship to another,
changing her self image
as frequently as she changes her panties.
It's you two who need counseling.
If you can't see that,
then you're more out of touch
with reality than I thought.
Reality? Mother, you're in your sixties.
I mean, what if something
happened? You had a stroke.
Or die.
Renaldo will be down in a moment.
Who?
Renaldo Panatieri.
Sean and Julia McNamara.
But not as beautiful as your mama.
Mmm.
Mother, who is this man?
Renaldo is my husband.
Julia, he'll be such a wonderful father.
He always wanted children.
Hey.
Look at you, huh?
We're gonna have so much fun together, you and me.
Yes.
There you go.
Here's your monkey.
Bye bye.
Thank you, Maria.
Bye.
Ok, there are 2 changes of clothes in here for her.
Ok.
And please don't forget her strawberry allergy.
No, no, no. Daddy knows all
about her. Just enjoy your
evening out with Mr. Joe 6 pack.
You mean fiancée.
What?
Wow! I didn't know that target
was, uh, selling engagement
rings. That's cool.
Thanks.
No, I'm sorry. I just...
I'm in a bit of a funk.
I'm... I'm happy for you.
You? In a funk? Why?
I don't know.
Desperate encounters with people
who turn out to be freaks is
just not working for me anymore.
Are we talking about the tranny?
He, she, um, ran into Mike
in the hallway after your unfortunate encounter,
so, Mike agreed to do the surgery for her.
Fine.
Let him.
That he-Bitch is lucky
that I didn't rip her...
his... face off.
Christian, you,
of all people, should have
a little more compassion.
Anytime anything good happens
to you, whether it's a good
woman or an opportunity to do something good,
you always turn it around
and you make it about you.
Why don't you try to get over
that petty, male ego of yours
and do something good because
it's good for someone else?
What about if I gave you a ring?
What?
Better than the one before, you know?
With the same kind of sentiment and emotion?
Christian, ahem,
you don't give a shit about me,
honey. You just hate seeing
another man with me.
No, no.
That's not true.
And I can't see you with that...
bimboy, but...
Well, I like my ring,
and it came from Mike's heart,
which is really good,
and it's true and it's kind.
And I don't think you really have one.
It's kinda buried in there.
But I do have one, and it belongs to you.
Always has.
Um, ahem, make sure you put
Jenna in the purple and white
dolce and feed her protein, not
Sugar, for her breakfast, ok?
I wasn't expecting you.
Mother, could you close
your robe, please?
For heaven sake, you're a lesbian, aren't you?
You must be used to the sight of a naked woman.
Now.
Why did you come here uninvited
and without a phone call to say?
It's been a long time since I've seen you.
Without your clothes, I mean.
You've really aged.
Nevertheless, Renaldo
and I are fornicating like
two sex-starved teenagers.
I guess love must be blind.
Well, there's nothing wrong with Renaldo's eyes.
Did you see the way he looked at me? I thought
he was giving me a physical.
God sake.
Julia, what do you want?
Uh.
I'm here to save your marriage.
Sean has promised me that
he can take 20 years off
your appearance, head to toe,
and you know he can do it, too.
Mm-Hmm.
You're here to strike
a deal, aren't you?
My lost youth for your lost children.
That's what this is all about, isn't it?
Your lost youth.
From the day that men began to notice me,
you have been filled with rage.
You know, suddenly,
I had everything you'd lost.
Beauty, power, sexual supremacy.
Now, I'm sorry I forced you
to face your age and you have never forgiven me.
Now, if only I could force you to face yours.
I remember driving
an intelligent, confident young woman to college.
Now, she's indulging in a prolonged adolescence
at her children's expense.
You can't steal my life
and pretend that it's yours.
See yourself out, won't you?
Mother, don't you want a second chance?
You could look 50 again.
No, I don't think I'll be
having any more plastic surgery.
That's the wonderful thing about raising children.
They keep you young.
Vodka soda, right?
You remembered.
I guess it must be a little
Surprising, seeing me here
after everything I said to you earlier.
I was a little harsh,
and that's why I, ahem, I came to apologize.
I guess I can't blame you.
Not even my gynecologist knows.
Well, if your surgeon did
such a great job, why don't you
just go back to get the reversal?
He said that he couldn't
possibly undo all the hard work
that he'd done. It'd be like
Michelangelo repainting the Sistine Chapel.
Please.
My body is my Temple.
I can repaint it any way I want.
And how can you afford
all this? The surgeries cost a fortune,
not to mention recovery period.
Trust fund.
Daddy owned hotels.
I just work here to keep busy.
Money aside, are you aware of the risks involved?
I'm already off hormones.
I mean, just take out
My implants. I'll cut my hair.
I know you more than anybody
else should understand
the complications of this kind
of surgery, but to reverse
a vaginalplasty and to rebuild
a penis is... is very complicated.
Ok? It's gonna take a year, at least.
Do you understand the...
the microsurgery procedures involved?
No.
Well, can I explain it to you?
Ok.
First, we sketch out the size
and shape of your new penis over
your latissimus dorsi muscle.
After raising that flap off
your ribcage, we roll it up
and create your new penis.
Complications, however, I mean,
could include hematoma, vascular
thrombosis, partial, or even
complete necrosis of the flap.
But after performing microsurgery on the blood
vessels and the nerves,
we would reattach the member in the pelvic region.
Now, I'm assuming
that you'd like to be able to pee standing up?
I guess.
Well, in that case,
we'll have to take, uh, a graft
from the inside of your mouth.
You'll need to wear a catheter
for 5 to 7 days. Go to an after
care facility for up to 5 days.
The recovery period would be
3 to 6 months, at least.
And I wouldn't go through
any other procedures
until we got through that.
I'm not scared and I don't
Care about the risks.
It's nothing compared
to a lifetime of living
in a body that doesn't
feel like mine anymore.
Well, in that case,
you definitely don't want
Mike Hamoui performing
this kind of surgery.
He's never even attempted
this type of thing before.
He seemed so sincere.
I know, but that's because
he's trying to rebuild
his practice after I fired him.
What you need is a... a surgeon
who completely understands this type of procedure.
Ok.
Thanks for meeting with me.
You were supposed to bring my kids.
Actually, I'm sorry. I lied
about that. I thought you and I
needed to talk, man to man.
Well, I've got nothing to say to you.
Well, I got something to say to you, then.
I want you to know
that we'd never try to stop you
from being their father.
You couldn't stop me from
being their father in a million
years. But when I'm done,
I will stop you from coming
Within 10 miles of those kids.
This thing isn't over, asshole.
Sean.
It looks like it is over.
Who do you think you are, anyway?
You're just some greaseball punk.
No, I just...
What are you doing
with a woman old enough
to be your grandmother, huh?
What is your angle?
All I want is to be a good
father to Annie and Conner.
That's all.
Give them something they never had before.
A chance to be happy.
Look, man, watch out.
Don't do anything you might regret.
I'll never regret that.
Look, man. Watch out.
Don't do anything you might
Regret.
Classic borderline behavior.
That's enough.
You missed the part,
Renaldo's lying on the ground
and Sean actually spits on him.
Well, mother, it's gonna take
more than this little video sting to get custody.
You're quite right.
Child endangerment must be
substantiated by a witness
who can prove that the parents
failed to prevent their child
from becoming a neglected child,
an abused child, or a juvenile delinquent.
Matt testified against us?
Yes.
He loves you, Julia.
Just doesn't want what happened
to him to happen to Conner and Annie.
Someday, Julia, you will
understand that what I did was
for the good of everyone.
And are you, um,
videotaping this conversation now?
No, of course not.
Good.
Be sure to have the children
ready and their things packed by Friday.
You like that, baby?
Yeah.
Ah, ha ha.
We are gonna be so happy together.
Hmm.
I am the luckiest guy in the world. And FYI...
I'm not gonna be like one of
those men who doesn't like
to wear his wedding ring.
Just so you know.
You can do whatever you want,
it really doesn't matter to me.
No, you deserve it, Kimber.
When we're not together, I want
you to feel safe.
And loved.
What do you want to do today,
huh? I have the whole day free.
What about if you and Jenna
and I, we go for a picnic?
You want to go for a picnic?
Yeah.
Ha, you mean like with, um, mosquitoes and ants?
Honey, that's really sweet,
but actually, Saturdays are more
of a me day. I kinda like to do
my facials, my manicures and my pedicures, ok?
How do you not know my schedule by now?
Ok. I can...Look after Jenna,
for you. You know, my precious
little step-daughter...
Ok, ok, Mike, I really need
you to stop kissing my ass, ok?
It's not the way to make me
happy, ok? I just need you to
back up, and...
Just let me come to you, ok?
So you want me to back up,
like... like how far?
Like all the way to taking my ring back?
Well, no! Come on. I just
Need a little bit of space, ok?
And this has been a whirlwind.
Well, why don't I just call you
in like a week? Is that ok?
I'll call you.
Tie's a little crooked.
That's what you were thinking
about when you were staring at
me over there?
You're right. I was thinking
you shouldn't be out of bed
so soon after surgery.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't wait to see myself in
a suit, it's been so long.
And I didn't want you to see me
for the first time, again,
in some awful paper gown.
Not too flattering.
No.
Can you undo those pants for me?
Looks good.
What little there is.
Statistically speaking,
it's a little below average,
but, um, I did the best I could.
I know. I was never a size
queen anyways. And if there's
anything this experience has
taught me, it's that the penis does not make the man.
It's what's in here.
Ah, Jesus.
You're gonna be sore for a while.
What about next week?
I want to take you to dinner and thank you.
No.
You don't need to do that. Ahem.
If there's a better way
I can get you to my place, let me know.
You're not interested.
Hmm. There's a lot of things
I've had a change of heart about
in my life, but being with
a guy, definitely not one of them.
Christian?
Yeah.
Do you have a minute?
I need a little work done, surgically speaking.
And you came to me, huh?
How about that asshole fiancé
of yours, huh? Why don't you hit him up?
Because, I need a tattoo removed.
Sync by honeybunny - Corrected by chamallow35